grace:
i saw a girl today on campus
and i know it’s rude
but her outfit kinda smacked me
i had to stop and stare
like… reached out and smacked

me: verbal portrait please?

grace: lol
oh… sit back
and get ready to get smacked

her hair
let’s start with her hair
she was a dark, dark brunette
and she bleached it blonde
with like… 4 inch roots showing
and it was in desperate need of a deep conditioning treatment
like.. if you looked straight at her face
it made a triangle
it was so frizzy the bottoms stuck out

me: i want to photoshop this now…

grace:lol
and to top it off
she had this big … red… flower in her hair
on the side like to pull her bangs back
like…. at least 6 inches in diameter
so you got this red flower in this bleached blonde brunette frizzy hair
like… bird sanctuary frizzy
and she has this really pale complexion
like… extremely pale palor
and she’s like… ridiculously skinny
so roughly a size 0-2
buuuut
blood red lipstick
and a lemon yellow t-shirt
with a denim skirt
mini skirt
and her shoes…
oh goodness her shoes
they were black reebok high top sneakers
with black cotton socks

i… stared
oh i stared
it was like a car accident
i know i should look away, but i couldn’t
i swear, she was just walking
but her outfit just violated my sense of what’s right in the world

me: did she also have some atrocious red crocodile skin purse

grace: hahahahhahaa
silver metallic clutch
and like.. a red backpack i think

grace: oh dang…
that’s…almost a dead ringer
lol
like… creepily so

Almost makes you want to transcibe it into a poem, eh? Tune in next time for another edition of Fasion Police. I daresay we could fill gigs with the atrocities out there.

I will take gratitude over money, ANYDAY.

Unless of course I really really really need money. Even then, that’s 3 really’s.